Comparing Your Sobriety to Others? | Addiction Recovery
November 6, 2009
Thursday, 5th November 2009
Early Sobriety
Everyone knows the saying about trying to keep up with the Jones’es. Perfect introduction to a post about the dangers of comparing your progress to others’ – but also to chat about when this might actually be a good thing.
In the past, my idea of comparing was to look for anything I was missing that someone else had – I would conveniently ignore the things I had that they didn’t. This allowed me to never measure up and resulted in a lot of very boring self-pity.
Comparing has inherent risks, especiallly if you have the tendency to focus on the glass as half empty rather than half full. However, in some cases, comparing can be good. For example, if there is an area in your life you would like to improve, you might look at someone you admire and compare what they have done to achieve their goals to how you have attempted to achieve them. This can be a positive exercise, especially if you ask them, what did you do to achieve that?
It’s important to always remember that success if not measured by things. This is when we get into comparing someone’s success to ours in sobriety. Like we might look at someone 5 years sober who just got their dream job, then we say, well I’m 10 years sober and I don’t have my dream job yet! Maybe your career requires more time. Maybe you created more wreckage in the past. Or, in some cases, maybe that person can give you some helpful advice.
Comparing is only healthy when it is used as a learning tool – not as a way to beat yourself up. And remember, what someone looks like on the outside may not match what is on the inside. I remember thinking about a particular person – man they are so successful at what I want to be doing; why aren’t I successful at it too? That person drank again and lost everything.
via Comparing Your Sobriety to Others? | Addiction Recovery.
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